Ruminating on Relationships

There are some things that I just never really understood when it comes to relationships and dating... here is a short list.

1) playing hard to get.

If I have to be aloof for you to be interested in me, then really, what is it that you like... me or the 'game'? People love the competition these days so if you have to play hard to get for someone to like you, then its time to question what exactly it is that they like. You are the same person if you just keep it real and do what you want, so why should that change anything?

1b) playing games period.

Who has time for games? It is both mind jerking and exhausting. If you want to call me, please, call me. You don't have to wait 3 days 7 hours and 42 minutes to call me or else be viewed as a crazy stalker. oh and... I love this one... you ARE allowed to call twice in a row... or even 3 or 4 times. As long as I always pick up or return your phone call promptly (key word), you have no worries. (if neither of these are true, THEN maybe you want to stop calling).

2) who has the upper hand??

why the heck is there even an upper/lower hand? if there is... or better yet if you even think about it and who has it, maybe its time to rethink your relationship. Why would you want to be with someone who thought they had you 'wrapped around their finger' or if you think you have the upper hand and your significant other would do anything to keep you, then do you REALLY care about this person? When you are with someone, you are part of a team... you should trust each other... hold EACH OTHER in the highest regard. It really shouldn't be a one way street here... you should feel PROUD to have the other person by your side.

3) live together to ensure the 'little' things don't annoy you.

I've heard this one a WHOLE lot. The thing with this one that I really don't understand is if you truly love somebody... then those little things won't annoy you! who cares how they squeeze the toothpaste or put the toilet paper on the roll? If that is enough to make you stop liking someone, then you never loved them to begin with.

All in all, when you are with someone, that person should be your #1 confidant. If there is something you can't tell that person, then something is off balance in the relationship. It really is like a team, and if you can't trust the other person to always put your best interests first, then what kind of relationship is that? Some of the most important factors to building this type of relationship are honesty... communication (which automatically leads to trust, another vital factor)... selflessness (doing something for the other person should never feel like a task)... loyalty (you should always be able to count on the other person, be it for help, support, having your back, etc) These are the things that really make a relationship solid... and the things that people most often have to work on I think are the communication and honesty. Just those 2 things alone will help bring everything else in on its own. Give it a try!